When “Tech Support” Is Neither Technical or Supportive

Marketers who hype terms like “free” and “instant” are hurting themselves and other marketers. If you have to pay *anything* it is not free.

If you have to enter your name and email address, click the Submit button, check email, open a message, and click a link, then go to a site and download a file, it is not instant.

Yeah, yeah, “everybody knows” the offers are not *literally* free or instant, and that’s the problem. If that is the way you communicate as a marketer, why should buyers believe *anything* you say?

Now there is a new one: “support”. This week I “instantly” downloaded some “free” software. A prominent icon on the download page indicated that it would run in Mac OS X, but it does not.

It should, since it is written to run in Adobe Air, a cross-platform, ah, platform software. But no.

So I put in a support ticket. On the Help page (which did not mention my problem) was a prominent phone number. “Call us for quick help.” So I called.

The person who answered the phone knew nothing, wanted to know nothing, and could not seem to figure out why I bothered her. “You can look at the Help page.”

“I did. It did not help. It said to call this number.”

“On the Help page, you can put in a ticket.”

“I did,” I said. “The page said for faster help to call this number.” Irony was lost on her.

“Well, I’m not tech support. I’m sure they will respond soon.”

They did respond soon. (I’m pretty sure it was the same person, Victoria.) The message was, “If you need help, please go to our Help page.” (The one where I started.) “If you do not see your problem answered there, you can put in a Help ticket. “

It was clear that the person who answered the Help ticket had not actually read the Help ticket. So I replied, pointing that out.

Same person answered, “I am not a technical support specialist, but you can go to our Help page. If you do not see your question answered there, you can put in a Help ticket.”

Honestly I am not making any of this up—-or exaggerating even a tiny bit.

I have been a customer of this yoyo company. Do you think I will ever buy anything from them again? Noooooooo!

Meanwhile I got half a dozen email messages from that company the same day, offering to sell me things. (Talk about irony impaired!)

I don’t think so!

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